15 Unbreakable Road Trip Rules of A Car Guy

As far back as I can remember, I have always been a car guy. The oldest memory saved inside my brain is of my dad drawing cars on a piece of paper to keep me from being the crybaby.

Then, I mimicked my dad’s moves from the back seat when he was driving. He taught me how to steer a car when I was eight. Ten years and countless car magazines later, I got my driver’s license.

And the rest is history.

Everything in and around my life is somehow related to these exciting machines. That obviously means I love driving and road-tripping. And, unsurprisingly, I have my own set of unbreakable rules for the road. 

Duties of the Passengers

Road-tripping by yourself means nothing. You have to have passengers. But there’s no riding free in the car, so everyone has a job.

Rule #1: Whoever rides shotgun, becomes the DJ.

Rule #2: Whoever rides shotgun, also becomes the satellite navigation.

Rule #3: I have the right to take the DJing duty off your hands whenever I desire.

Rule #4: Backseat passengers are responsible for the distribution of soft drinks and water.

Food and Beverage

Speaking of drinks distribution, there are some rules about catering.

Rule #5: You can NEVER eat or smoke inside my car under any circumstance. I can stop as many times as you want if you’re a heavy smoker, but that’s it.

Rule #6: It’s the passengers’ responsibility to decide what and where we are eating. I do the driving and don’t have time to think.

Rule #7: All diets are suspended; we are eating cheap and junk, which is always more delicious. Plan accordingly.

Scenery Outside

We are out there driving, and we will see some stuff. Sometimes dull, but sometimes we can make it enjoyable.

Rule #8: We are driving in the daylight—no question about that. There’s a reason why we didn’t buy plane tickets.

Rule #9: If applicable, we will take the scenic route at the cost of time—another reason why we’re driving, in daylight, instead of buying plane tickets.

Rule #10: Shotgun rider cannot put their feet on the dash. I don’t care if you take your shoes off. Keep them inside the footwell—there’s a reason that area is called a FOOTwell.

Biological Rythm and Safety Measures

It’s a road trip, not a marathon.

Rule #11: We don’t raw-dog. We do pitstops, but everyone needs to hit the WC before the car hits the road. We’re not stopping for the first two to three hours. 

Rule #12: If the trip is longer than 10 hours, we’ll stay somewhere. I am not a trucker, and you are definitely not driving my car.

Rule #13: Seatbelts. Buckle ‘em up. For the ones riding at the back, too.

Rule #14: We are doing the speed limit. When the road is clear and straight, I can get a bit naughty with the accelerator, but that’s only once or twice during the whole trip. Don’t expect too much. 

The Exception

There is only one way to bend these rules.

Rule #15: The only exception is if we’re driving a rental. In a rental, anything goes, as long as it’s safe and legal…ish.